Thursday, June 23, 2011

My DNA is legendary...

The last few months, my strength and courage has been tested and on most days exceeds expectation. My wisdom comes from not only my journey, but the journey of all the women and men that guide me and have met me along the way. Seeing my Grandma T last week renewed me!

Thank you to the women in my life who mother me, mentor me, push me, and hold me. Thank you Grandma T for always praying for me and sharing your pearls with me.  I stand in the strength of legends and for that I am forever grateful. Sometimes moments and circumstance happen to remind me to stay true to who I AM!

I woke up thinking about one of my favorite speeches, "Ain't I a Woman" by Sojourner Truth and one of my favorite poems, "Mother to Son" by Langston Hughes.

Still Standing,
Wonder Woman

AIN'T I A WOMAN?
by Sojourner Truth
Delivered 1851 at the Women's Convention in Akron, Ohio
Well, children, where there is so much racket there must be something out of kilter. I think that 'twixt the negroes of the South and the women at the North, all talking about rights, the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what's all this here talking about?
That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man - when I could get it - and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?
Then they talk about this thing in the head; what's this they call it? [member of audience whispers, "intellect"] That's it, honey. What's that got to do with women's rights or negroes' rights? If my cup won't hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn't you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?
Then that little man in black there, he says women can't have as much rights as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.
If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back , and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them.
Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old Sojourner ain't got nothing more to say.


Mother to Son
BY LANGSTON HUGHES
Well, son, I’ll tell you:
Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.
It’s had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor—
Bare.
But all the time
I’se been a-climbin’ on,
And reachin’ landin’s,
And turnin’ corners,
And sometimes goin’ in the dark
Where there ain’t been no light.
So boy, don’t you turn back.
Don’t you set down on the steps
’Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.
Don’t you fall now—
For I’se still goin’, honey,
I’se still climbin’,
And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.


Monday, May 16, 2011

One of those days...

(Wrote this post March 17, 2011)

I guess when you can experience good and bad moments in the same 24 hour time period... one has to decide to chose the half full or half empty perspective.


I have spent the last three days facilitating focus groups with teens and young adults and hearing their perspective on the issue of teen pregnancy. The last group was with a group of teen moms, and that discussion left me in a state of reflection. Spending time with this group of moms brought me back to my early days of parenting... and all the doubts, fears and shame I carried around with me during that time period. I actually carried the baggage of shame around well into my 20s. I have lighten the load of bags, but I still feel the weight of hoping my sons "turn out" better than the statistics that have been placed on them because I starting parenting young. Hell, some days I wonder... especially when they are stumbling and falling through adolescents. Do you ever completely go of the bags? I don't know, but mines definitely have gotten lighter.  

Now years later, as my friends start to become mothers and I hear them talking about their doubt and fears... I finally can release some of the shame I felt then. Hell my friends are in their 30s and so much of my doubts and fears I thought were unique to me because I "messed up" and got pregnant "too young". I know that I did the best I could with what I knew and I continue to parent from that place... I feel relieved in many ways to see that my 30 something year old new mom friends are doing the same... the best they can with what they know. Parenting in your 30s after living your life and becoming emotionally and financially ready to start a family, definitely is the recommendation... and I can make peace with how my family started. Was it "ideal" and would I recommend it for someone else? Ummmmm no, but it is my journey and what a ride it has been... I have learned a lot about life, myself, and sanity.

The lens through which I see the world and my role as a mom has changed over time... in fact have gotten less blurry. I hope that as young parents navigate the journey they remember that they are growing and learning too... and cut themselves some slack. No one is perfect, super woman is not real, and lead with love and establish a healthy support network. Our children get older, and so do we ;-)

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

2011 is HERE!

I have been away for way too long! So much has changed, and some things remain the same from the last time I blogged regularly. I won't make any over the top commitments to blogging everyday... blah blah blah. I have been writing for myself to get thru 2010, but have not felt like sharing in public. Blogging has become so widespread and mainstream I was ambivalent about whether to keep blogging or not. This morning I received a comment on an old post and I had been thinking about coming back to the blogosphere for a few weeks now... so the comment was my motivation to get back out here. I might even go more public with my writing this year... we will see. I have some ventures in the works and the journey to launch will be edutainment, and so much more... so it might be worth sharing! We'll see...

Well do I recap or just move forward?? Well I am not great at recapping the past in writing because when the moment passes... I lose the words. What I can say is 2010 was a year in which major elements of my life were tossed in the air and for months I didn't know for sure how it would work out...but I had faith that it would. Today I can see that 2010 was a very spiritual year... that's the best way to describe it

The ebbs and flow of life are sometimes consistent, but often not as predictable as one would hope. My faith and trust in God was renewed in 2010 at a real deep spiritual level. I found a part of myself that had been dormant for a while... my tenacity and resiliency is stronger and more mature. I got thru the first 10 years of my parenting on a hope, a prayer, God's grace, tenacity, resiliency and love. Many of the emotions and fears of becoming a mom at 15 reappeared this year... do I have what it takes to succeed? can I do this? This/it encompasses many aspects of my life... a mother of two teen boys, a single woman dating or whatever I am doing these days, a professional, a daughter, a friend, a family member, a student, a person in debt, an entrepreneur,  and the list goes on...

I pushed thru and at moments I was carried thru the emotions and fears of life in 2010. At 33/34  I was wiser, more mature, and knew what I wasn't sure of at 15... I will be okay, it will be okay, and... a hope, a prayer, God's grace, tenacity, resiliency and love will get me thru this too! And it did and continues to get me thru...

2011 is HERE! I am open and ready... everyday is filled with new possibilities and I have an abundant love-filled life!

So blessed,
Wonder Woman

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

It's Spring...

The lilac tree is blooming outside my house... I love this time of year. The fragrance meets me at the door and it brightens my mood day or night. The tree only blooms for a couple of weeks and then the purple is gone... the fragrance is gone. What is left is the green leaves and branches. For a few years I didn't even know it was a lilac tree and would miss the blooming seasons because I was not paying attention to a treasure right in front of my face for weeks. In fact I didn't even realize it was a lilac tree until a few years ago when I was in the Arboretum and noticed the lilac trees looked like the "ugly tree in front of my house". A week after I realized the similarity, the tree bloomed and then I went back to the Arboretum and was amazed how much I didn't pay attention to what was right in front of me for years. That season I realized that I love Lilacs and now every year I get excited waiting for the bloom!


Happy Spring!

-WonderWoman