This too shall pass...

I am fighting my bah humbug mood. Yin and Yang is in full force these days and I am trying to remember it's all a balance and not focus on the Yang so much. But damn...

I have been have been in a mood for almost a week. I know why... fear and human tendancies to be imperfect, but it's one of those things that I need to just be patient and remember that this too shall pass... Patience is not my strongest virtue. God definitely continues to work on me in that area. The holidays haven't been the best of times for me over the last few years, and some things are just sturring up old baggage for me... thus my mood.

To add salt to my mood... my car was side swiped last night (hit and run)... ughhhhhhh... bah humbug... It's not bad... but just enough to make me want to hit somebody because like most things in my life... I will have to deal with it and the culprit will not have to be held accountable. (Damn that is bitter, huh?... I told you I was in a mood)

I have this song on repeat right now on my ipod... Hopefully soon my mood will change, after all this is the HOLIDAYS!!!

This Too Shall Pass
By India.Arie
I've achieved so much in life,
but I'm an amateur in love
My bank account is doing just fine
but my emotions are bankrupt

My body is nice and strong
but my heart is in a million pieces
When the sun is shining so am I
but when night falls, so do my tears

Sometimes the beat is so loud in my heart
that I can barely tell the voices apart
Sometimes the fear is so loud in my head
that I can barely hear what God says
but then I hear a whisper

that this too shall pass
I hear the angels whisper that this too shall pass
my ancestors whisper that this day will one day be the past
so I walk in faith that this too shall pass

The one that loved me the most
turned around and hurt me the worst
Been doing my best to move on
but the pain just keeps singing me songs

My head and my heart are at war
cause love ain't happening the way I want it
Feel like I'm about to break down
can't hear the light at the end of the tunnel
is when I pray for healing in my heart
to be put back together what is torn apart
and I pray for quiet in my head
that I can hear clearly what GOD says
but then I hear a whisper that this too shall pass
I hear the angels whisper that this too shall pass
my ancestors whisper that this day will one day be the past
so I walk in faith that this too shall pass

All of a sudden I realized that it only hurts worst to fight it
So I embrace my shadow and hold on to the morning light
this too shall pass...

I hear the angels whisper that trouble don't have to last always
I hear the angels whisper even the day after tomorrow will one day be yesterday
I hear my angels whisper
I hear my angels whisper this too shall pass

I choose... to see the light as I traveled down memory lane

Our Deepest Fear
by Marianne Williamson
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.


I first heard this verse in the movie, Coach Carter. The words are so powerful and transcend age, because we all could use that understanding. I often share similar sentiments with my son (he's 14... yes... pray for me!). Last night he and I went down memory lane as he was putting together a scrapbook of his baby pictures for a school project. Talking with him now that he is 14 about what it was like when he was little is very different these days, because he is almost the age I was when he was born. Memory lane is more than pictures and stories now that he is a teenage, they are life's lessons and I do my best to share with him not from a space of shame and lectures, but from a space of grace and strength. It touches my heart to know that he values the stories and I pray that he values the lessons. He selected this one picture for his scrapbook that sparked a few thoughts. It was a picture of him with his father and I, as I was getting ready to go to my prom.

Some of my thoughts...
Damn, I was too skinny... that made me appreciate my sexy as I call it these days.

Then I thought, wow I chose that outfit and just knew I was too cute... it was purple I guess that was my attraction to it... lol

Then I thought, damn his father was short and skinny... now I know why it couldn't have worked out... he's definitely not skinny anymore but with heels on we were the same height... hmmmmm...over 6' please... thank you very much! I know I am a touch over 5', but what can I say... a sista likes what she likes... lol... okay if a brotha is good for me and under 6'... I can love him... I am not that shallow... really I'm not. My baby daddy wasn't good for me and that's why it didn't work (it took us both a while to figure that one out)... but the height could have been a factor too... lol.

And then I thought,Wow... our baby boy is doing alright (yes, just alright, because remember I told you he is 14...)! The journey has not been easy, and God knows the battle scars that we have endured. Obstacles were "a plenty", and I know God carried us through when we didn't have the capacity to do it ourselves. I don't want that same journey for my children or any other young person. The light is that the journey made me the fabulous woman I am today. I am a stronger woman, mother, and love representative (thats my new phrase... what do you think?) because of it.

All of this to say... Today, I choose to embrace my light, because as I shine my baby boy can see his own light and he will shine too. I no longer stand in the shadow of my circumstances.

Just wanted to share some of my light with you. Well I have to get myself out of the door. Work Work Work