I choose... to see the light as I traveled down memory lane

Our Deepest Fear
by Marianne Williamson
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.


I first heard this verse in the movie, Coach Carter. The words are so powerful and transcend age, because we all could use that understanding. I often share similar sentiments with my son (he's 14... yes... pray for me!). Last night he and I went down memory lane as he was putting together a scrapbook of his baby pictures for a school project. Talking with him now that he is 14 about what it was like when he was little is very different these days, because he is almost the age I was when he was born. Memory lane is more than pictures and stories now that he is a teenage, they are life's lessons and I do my best to share with him not from a space of shame and lectures, but from a space of grace and strength. It touches my heart to know that he values the stories and I pray that he values the lessons. He selected this one picture for his scrapbook that sparked a few thoughts. It was a picture of him with his father and I, as I was getting ready to go to my prom.

Some of my thoughts...
Damn, I was too skinny... that made me appreciate my sexy as I call it these days.

Then I thought, wow I chose that outfit and just knew I was too cute... it was purple I guess that was my attraction to it... lol

Then I thought, damn his father was short and skinny... now I know why it couldn't have worked out... he's definitely not skinny anymore but with heels on we were the same height... hmmmmm...over 6' please... thank you very much! I know I am a touch over 5', but what can I say... a sista likes what she likes... lol... okay if a brotha is good for me and under 6'... I can love him... I am not that shallow... really I'm not. My baby daddy wasn't good for me and that's why it didn't work (it took us both a while to figure that one out)... but the height could have been a factor too... lol.

And then I thought,Wow... our baby boy is doing alright (yes, just alright, because remember I told you he is 14...)! The journey has not been easy, and God knows the battle scars that we have endured. Obstacles were "a plenty", and I know God carried us through when we didn't have the capacity to do it ourselves. I don't want that same journey for my children or any other young person. The light is that the journey made me the fabulous woman I am today. I am a stronger woman, mother, and love representative (thats my new phrase... what do you think?) because of it.

All of this to say... Today, I choose to embrace my light, because as I shine my baby boy can see his own light and he will shine too. I no longer stand in the shadow of my circumstances.

Just wanted to share some of my light with you. Well I have to get myself out of the door. Work Work Work