I feel... EXHAUSTED!!

A few weeks ago, I was talking with my friend and telling him about the random foolishness going on in the lives of people around me and about how as much as I care about them, I also can't deal with how their foolishness impacts me. He said something like... you carry a lot of weight from other people. How does that make you feel? When he asked me I didn't really have an answer in that moment so the conversation moved on, but the question has lingered in my mind since then.

So as this statement and question lingers in the recess of my mind... life goes on and I have been feeling more and more "weighed down" these days. So I think if he asked me that question TODAY... I would say EXHAUSTED!

I have a lot going on right now, some good stuff, some frustrating stuff, and some stuff that is testing my patience. My current state of mental EXHAUSTION is clouding my perception right now. I NEED A VACATION!!!

As I have said in past posts... I am truly blessed to have some really good friends in my life. I can count on them to be there for me when I am need them. Like when I am feeling EXHAUSTED, because I know I can find one of them to release it, vent and/or problem solve (when I am ready).

I am truly BLESSED. Right now I know my cup is half... FULL. I truly believe that this too shall pass. I just really could use some "weight loss", a comforting hug... and a VACATION!!! I need some rejuvenating so I can replenish and not feel so depleted.

Well I guess I should go to bed... that could help with the EXHAUSTION, huh... smile.

Blessed,
-WonderWoman

Recent Adventure...

I went to Six Flags again... yippee. This time I went with my SistaFromAnothaMotha. We hadn't gone on an adventure in a while, so it was great to hang out with her.


A Few Memories from our Adventure to Six Flags:

• Stopping at Marshalls- Swimsuit $5, Coverall $12, ticket to SixFlags $50... anticipation of getting on rides that make you scream with fear and excitement... priceless.
• The thrill rides of the day: SuperMan was closed for the day... big pouty face...

Typhoon (WaterRollercoaster) and
Tornado at the WaterPark:

The Catapult was the scariest ride of the day...

• I forgot we had my camera so I only have a few pictures. We took a picture with Scooby... he's such ladies man...lol

• We ended our adventure with... FRIED DOUGH and COTTON CANDY!! What is a trip to an amusement park without it...

I had so much fun! But we were exhausted when it was time to go. We were there for almost 7 hours. I still have to go back at least one more time this season, because I still have never rode on the SuperMan... and I just have to do it!

Peace,
WonderWoman

A Gift in a MorningWakeUp Call

In my dream... The phone rang at 8:30A.M. I thought it was going to be my Daddy. I stumbled out of bed to answer it, never even looking at the caller ID, because the crust in my eyes clouded my vision (yeah, I am still fabulous even with crustations...lol).

Well it wasn't my Daddy. It was actually my ex (I will call him WonderfulSoldierBrotha... I mentioned him in my last post). We still stay in touch, but over the last year the communication has been few and far between.

It was good to talk WonderfulSoldierBrotha. He called to say THANK YOU for me being me. He also shared with me how much our relationship impacted him and has gotten him through some ruff spaces. He thanked me for letting him go because he needed the space and because right now he knew he couldn't be the man that I needed and deserved. He said SORRY that he was not able to be there for me when I needed him most.

Our conversation was only about 15 minutes, but it was a gift to me this morning even if it was only in a dream. He is truly a man of few words, but I can imagine that when he opens up his heart he would say SORRY and THANK YOU. I will always care about him even though our relationship is in the past, because he is a WonderfulSoldierBrotha. I know that I had closure before this morning, but this morning wasn't about closure it was about reassurance. It was a gift to hear someone else share their perspective of WonderWoman and reminded me of what I have to share in a relationship. It reassured me that I am a WonderfulWoman and also reinforced my courage to stay open for Right4MeWondefulBrotha. Given my last post, this WakeUp Call dream came at an interesting time. No... WonderfulSoldierBrotha is not Right4MeWonderfulBrotha i guess, because we aren't together. Relationships are truly for a season, some longer than others and our season has pasted.

When ever I think of him and our experience I think of Whitney's... And I will Always Love You...



A little background of my relationship with WonderfulSoldierBrotha-

• We started a relationship shortly before he deployed to Iraq (NationalGuardsman completed a 1 year deployment). The months before he left for Iraq were amazing and those memories were very sustaining.
• He had my heart and we stayed together during his deployment. Care packages and emails were our major source of communication. It was difficult because simultaneously I was going through a very difficult time in my life. I shared some of it with him, but it was best that I not share everything because he really needed to stay focused so he could come home safely. I missed him the most when I just needed a hug and he wasn't there to give it to me. I learned a lot about love and some of the simple ways to give and receive love during his deployment.
  
• A year later he came home a very different man (withdrawn and emotionally hot and cold which was too unpredictable for my taste). I never doubted his love for me, but the relationship wasn't able to really pick up where we left off because of his difficult transition back to civilian life, and he and I were both different people from when we first met. We held on for about six months or so after he got home, but there was rarely enough time for us to spend together to reconnect beyond a day here and there. I was able to wait for him during his deployment because I really wanted to and I had great anticipation of his return. It was hard for me to accept the truth at first: he truly needed space and I needed more than he was capable of giving me. I willingly made the sacrifice while he was away, but resentment was settling in, because its one thing when actual distance keeps you apart, it harder to deal with when the person is not physically far away, but emotionally far away. I loved him too much to hold on when he really needed me to let go. Letting go was hard, but it was truly the best gift for both of us.
  
• A year has pasted. I have learned even more about love during this year since our relationship changed. I have gained some wonderful gifts because of my season with WonderfulSoldierBrotha.

He reminded me that there are some WonderfulBrothas out there (he truly is an amazing man).

I also realized that being a WonderfulBrotha doesn't equal Right4MeWonderfulBrotha. That was a hard lesson but one I cherish. It helped me realize what I really need in a relationship.

I regained faith in love. I experienced true love with him and my heart grew bigger because of that experience.

My relationship with my father grew stronger during this time in my life. I gained more insight into the experiences my father had as a Vietnam Vet. My Daddy helped me understand what WonderfulSoldierBrotha was going thru while he was away and My Daddy was truly my confidante when he returned. This journey allowed my Daddy and I to have conversations we wouldn't have had, and my love and admiration for my Daddy grew stronger. HERO really means something to me now... the sacrifices men and women make as soldiers are truly heroic.


I learned how to pack a serious care package (you would be amazed at how much I could fit in a box).

I met some friends I would have never known because we shared the experience of having a loved one deployed overseas.

I learned how to let go... because of love. Which reminds me of a verse in Heather Headley's song- In My Mind, "They say if you love something, you've got to let it go. And if it comes back, then it means so much more. But if it never does, at least you will know, That it was something you had to go through to grow."

--------------------------------------------

As you can tell from my last few posts, I am in an interesting reflective mode. This mode has shown me that I am ready for Right4MeWonderfulBrotha. The real question is... Is he ready for WonderWoman? Hmmmmm...

-WonderWoman

Reflections: He Is

Last year my Auntie sent me this Dr. Phil book, Love Smart. A relationship I was in was coming to the end of its season... Wonderful Brotha, Wrong Time kind thing. That relationship renewed my faith in Brothas, but taught me that even a GoodMan might not be the RightMan for ME. I was sharing my situation with my Auntie, and this prompted her to send me a book... not a gift card to go clothes shopping or some good chocolate to help me feel better... just a book...lol.

When I got the book, she called me and said, "I know you think I am crazy, but if you don't read anything else in the book you have to read two Chapters- "The Character of Him" and "The Character of You". So trusting her wisdom... I read those chapter and a few other, and even did the exercises. I didn't finish the book, but I have picked it up a time or two to skim through section... over the last year. Anyways, I was going through my books last week to get ready for a book donation and came across this book. I opened it up and saw a wish list that I created.

The Man for ME

• He will love and respect me for my strengths and weaknesses. Some of my weaknesses he will even find endearing. He will appreciate my quirks and extroverted nature.
• He is a Man that I can share all of myself with... my hopes, my dreams, and even my fears. He is confident and able to share his hopes, dreams and fears also.
• He is a kind and empathetic man in his special way.
  
• He will appreciate and respect my children, family, and friends.
• He is a Gentle Warrior! He's Protective, but not a rage-filled person.
• He has vision for his life and purpose. He is motivated. We are a powerful team!
• He is supportive and encouraging, especially during those times when I am down and need a supportive push... he is there and in tuned.

I wrote this list a year ago, and at the bottom I wrote the song title... He Is, by Heather Headley. This is probably the first "wish list" I wrote about the Man for ME that didn't include his physical attributes... just his soulful attributes. Was this a sign of maturity... or maybe it was the requirement for the activity in the book... I can't remember...lol. Either way, this list still stands true for me. These are the soul attributes of the Man for WonderWoman.

Some of my peers, ask the question are their any GoodAvailableBrothas left? I believe in my heart there are GoodBrothas... the available part is getting harder to find...lol. Well, reading my wish list a few days ago has left this song on my heart....

He Is
By Heather Headley


The day will come when WonderWoman connects with The Man for ME. Until then I will keep believing he is out there. Today I Choose... to feel optimistic!

Much luv,
WonderWoman

Like Sweet Morning Dew...

I found this website with music videos that I can add to my blog. I am so excited about this. I had an interesting conversation about this song recently, so I am adding one of my favorite... songs to my blog. When this song comes on I can't help but turn it up , get my head nod on, and get to singin' in my own special way...LOL!

Never thought that being a Brotha's Nig... could be so endearing...


Mary J. Blige - I'll Be There for You/Y ...

Born Day Weekend... a Great Kick-off to a Wonderful New Year!

My New Year has begun! My Born Day Weekend was FANTBULOUS! Akunamatata... a weekend of no worries... and doing what makes Wonder Woman smile- hanging out with family and friends (w/o drama); steak and chocolate cake; amusement parks; good company; lots of laughter!

Highlights of my BornDay Weekend

Friday
*Inspired by Bishop- I started a new Blog... BabyMommasUnite (BMU)
*Banana Bread French Toast with my Brother
*Dinner with CasBlog, MySistaFromAnothaMotha, and Brit... steak and chocolate cake (yummy)
*The restaurant staff sang Happy Birthday to me (First time I ever went to one of those chain restaurants on my actual Birthday... it was on my list of things to do so this year I did it... smile)
*I was kissed by a Moose

Saturday
*Anxiousness/excitement about my visit to Six Flags... I woke up at 5:30a.m. (going on 4 hours sleep, because I couldn't wait for the day to start... giddy smile).
*I finally got on water rides at Six Flags. I usually don't go into Hurricane Harbor.
*I had a lot of fun in Hurricane Harbor at Six Flags!
*Inhaling a lot of water on the Cannon Ball ride... I think my nose is still burning, but it was fun!
*DC Comic Store... My new Wonder Woman stuff- a tote bag (so fly!); Wonder Woman bobblehead; wristband; keychain, and new t-shirt to add to my collection!
*Everyone had FUN! It was a rocky start... who says only teen and pre-teen girls are moody...

Sunday
*Anxiousness/excitement about my Party. I haven't had a party (w/ decorations) in a really long time.
*Going to IParty... I always get carried away
*My tiara.. I loved it!
*CasBlog found a SuperHero that represents her well... Isis
*Having my Party at Big Funny Sunday (comedy showcase) was so much fun!
*DDoC... those dudes are hilarious... Much luv, yall made my day (http://www.myspace.com/dynamicduocomedy)!
*Learning about all the different occasions that you can use handclappers! Very multi-purposeful... who knew...
*Seeing my Mother LOL... because she is famous for her closed mouth chuckle




My New Year Ahead Forecast
*New Beginnings=== Full of New Possibilities!

Much luv and Gratitude,
WonderWoman