My Grandma T's Love...

I just got back from my trip to Alabama for my Grandma's 84th Birthday Party. It was exactly what my spirit needed.

My Grandmother is an amazing representative of LOVE. My understanding of LOVE and FAITH were seeds planted in me as a child, not so much by the words my Grandmother spoke, but by her actions. As I grew up and as I continue to grow, I continue to experience love and faith in my Grandma's everyday actions.

My Grandma's house is always open to anyone who needs her. During her Birthday Party, there was a reflection part of the event and guests got up to reflect on experiences with my Grandma. Some relatives shared how open her home and her kitchen was to anyone who came by "THE HOUSE". Everyone just refers to my Grandma's house as "THE HOUSE", any you know exactly where they are referencing. Some of my cousins shared stories of whoopins... cuz we all got them for one reason or another.

My reflection was not so much about the whoopins as much as it was that my Grandma was always consistent… Love of God and Family, Collective Responsibility and Safety were the underlying principles of most of the rules in my Grandma’s house. If she said this is the expectation do it or “this” will happen if you don’t… she meant it. Dishonoring Family, Responsibility, or the Safety expectations would surely get you a whoopin, but I felt in my heart (beyond the pain of the whoopin) that these principles mattered. I model a lot of who I am as a mother after my Grandma. Some of my worse whoopins were at the hand of my Grandma T, yet I never doubted her love for me. Even in the punishment there was a loving spirit.

The part of this trip that I am most thankful for... is the night talks with my Grandma. Since my Granddad died a few years ago, I always look forward to sleeping in my Grandma's room with her (see my last post). She has such a comforting spirit and she is so funny. She was so excited that I was able to make it down for her birthday. She and I have a connection that I can't eloquently put into words. I often say, "God knows my heart", and he truly does. The most amazing thing is my Grandmother... can feel my heart even if she doesn’t know what’s going on. She can feel me when my heart is heavy.

Some family members talk to my Grandma all the time... leaning on her and reaching out to her for support. I consciously don’t reach out to her for support as much as others do, because I have always felt that too many people relied on her already. But she feels me in spite of my mind telling me don’t burden her. She and I just have this way between us that I don't even have to say what's on my heart... she just already offers me the support I need. She always has a spirited pearl of wisdom to share... sometimes in a prayer, and sometimes through the humor of one of her fabulous rhymes or riddles. My Grandma is the originator of Hip Hop... lol. ("I'm like a bird... I get there first"- Grandma T)

Lately, I have been feeling the weight of so many people needing to lean on me. My Grandma could just tell, I didn't have to say a thing. The first night, she sat with me on the bed and just prayed for me. She told me. "Baby, just let go of the weight". She said she could feel it when I hugged her. She then offered her wisdom. She said, "I gotta lean on God because without him I can't take the weight of everything and everybody that needs to lean on me".

My Grandma has told me more than once, that I have her nature. For a period of time in my life I resented that, because I grew up with women that gave so much of themselves without getting much in return from many of the people that were recipients. Some of their giving was with the hope that they will be loved in return... like a downpayment towards love. I have been there… done that. My Grandma gives because she feels called to give. I denounced the “superwoman” mentality at one point, but I am realizing that I am knee deep in it these days. On the plane ride home I realized that I needed to assess some areas of my life to understand the spirit of my giving… is it because it’s a calling or is it because I am looking for love in return? I am continuing to grow and give and receive love in ways that I can’t always predict. I know love beyond limits, and I also know love that exists in spite of the limits I place on it.

I am grateful…

1. For my Grandma T. She continues to inspire me, and is such a wonderful representative of God’s Love.
2. For Sweet Tea. Simple loving gestures make such a difference for me. My Grandma was so happy to have me home, that she made me my own “jug” of Sweet Tea (a gallon jug to be exact). I needed some of Grandma’s loving and Sweet Tea.
3. For the truth that Spirit gives me whether I listen or not. Sometimes I get in my own way, yet Spirit continues to guide me. I had so many reasons why I “shouldn’t” go to Alabama… but Spirit didn’t let me block what I needed.
4. “Old Town Coffee”. This was a small coffee shop that just opened in Thomasville, AL. I didn’t know how I was going to get through this visit without some where to get coffee… and then my cousin found this shop. I was able to get a latte after going two days without any coffee.

I read Proverb 31:10-31 at the opening of my Grandma’s Birthday. I remember the first time I reflected on this passage as an adult… my Grandma is the image I saw in this reflection. The verses that really capture the essence of my Grandma (Proverb 31:25-31):

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

So Blessed,
WonderWoman