My Pilgrimage to Alabama and back...

I stayed up the whole night before my early morning flight to ATL, then we rented a car and drove to Alabama (4.5 hour drive).

Highlights from my pilgrimage:

• During my drive I got a marriage proposal at a gas station from a brotha in need of a dental plan. That was different... I had to say NO! He was not quite my type, but I do love a SouthernGentleMan... teeth are a requirement (lol).
  
• Reconnected with my cousin over a Sonic Milkshake and french fries.
  
• As always, enjoyed my slumber party with my Grandma/shero, and our drives are always fun!
  
• Fell in love with my little cousin QJ. He and I spent two days together. It was hard for me to say good-bye. I hope his mother gets it together and give him and his little sister what they deserve... love and stability.
• Danced, laughed, and cried as I remembered my Auntie... RIP Auntie P
• Creating more memories with my family across five generations!

It was a bittersweet trip to Alabama, and I always come home more grounded in the legacy of strength from my Grandmother and other family members.

So Blessed,
WonderWoman

I can be...

... So much more emotionally open in writing than I can be verbally.

A friend just called me after reading an email about my a la Summer Adventures plan that I sent and then came to check out my blog. She and I talk regularly, yet she just told me how it takes reading my words to truly understand how I am feeling, because I seem distant and silent lately. She quoted a phrase I use often to say the feeling outloud but not really deal with it outloud... "it is what it is".

A typical "feeling" conversation these days:
I say- this or that happened. i feel pissed/hurt/frustrated/angry/disappointed/insert other feelings i don't like to feel.
s/he says- wow. that sucks/that's not okay/she is ridiculous/ he is stupid/insert other empathetic statements following a typical "this sucks" rant!
I say- it is what it is... (change subject)

After she said this to me... I realized that I am getting more and more emotionally silent, even with those I lean on most. Some of my silence is because I don't want to hear myself or my feelings outloud, other times I am just trying to stop complaining so frequently and re-living events that frustrate me. I realized its harder for me to get past my frustration if I re-tell/re-live an event more than once. So if I told one person than I am really trying not to then re-tell/re-live it more than that.

So in some ways when I am asked how I am doing, that is why I say what ever I am feeling at that moment and then change topics... and other times I do this because I actually... don't want to deal with it outloud.

I will be okay... and one way I know that for sure is because I have finally said OUTLOUD and via email (smile) that I need others to help me come out of the valley. Blogland has been my written outloud place to express somethings when I am ready to at least write them down... thats what I appreciate most about blogging.

Well I have done enough sharing.... wow 3 post in two days, and 1 post on my BMU Blog. I am exhausted with all this feeling stuff... lol.

Moving toward the light out of the cave,
WonderWoman

A la Summer Adventures

Hello Friends and Fam,

The last few months have been filled with emotional highs and lows for me... and I am ready to work my way out of the valley... and one of the things I need to do is get excited about things I can change. I haven't been satisfied with some of my current circumstances... and one of the things I have been complaining about is not going on vacation... so I am vacationing at home this Summer... a la Summer Adventures. I would love to have friends and family along for my adventures so I wanted to share some of the things I am interested in doing and if anything sparks your interest let me know, because I could use the company. Pack a picnic basket and cooler and enjoy some of the free or damn near free things going on in the city... Simple things with good company are always spirit boasters for me.

Things I want to do this summer-

• face my fear of water by going kayaking (maybe even take a class (http://www.paddleboston.com/paddle_school/introkayak.php);
  
• definitely spend more time at the ocean;
• taking swimming lessons;
• go to motorcycle class to get my license (no bike but something I have always wanted);
• of course my usual pilgrimage to Six Flags at least twice (once to enjoy the waterpark and another time to hit the rollercoasters).
• Enjoy many of the local events around the City.

Some cool stuff to do: http://www.searchboston.com/happenings.html.

Let me know if you want to roll with me on any of my Summer Adventures... we can catch up and have fun! Also, I haven't figured out what I will do for my Birthday weekend (August 3rd), but I am taking some days off from work and when I figure it out I will let you know.

Remembering to keep reaching higher,
WonderWoman