Tis the Season...

This week is the beginning of the Holiday season, and for the last few years this has been a humdrum time of the year for me also. I love my family and friends, more than I could ever put into words, and I love spending time with them. The holidays tend to highlight my many mixed feelings...

happiness
gratitude
fullness (literally and spiritually)
sadness
loneliness
frustration
hopeful
blessed
contemplative
and the list could go on.

Today, I spent time with a woman who is in a state of contemplation, regret, and doubt. She sought me out today, because she and I stopped really talking a couple of years ago. I was hesitant at first to spend time with her today, but my spirit whispered to me and reminded me I released my anger with her and she seemed like she needed something that was bigger than our human experiences together. She needed someone to talk to, and as God's love representative I am reminded that listening doesn't have to cost me anything. After spending time with her today, I came home and decided that I would start this Holiday season differently from years past.

I acknowledge that the season puts the spotlight on some things in my life that I am not satisfied with, but I will rejoice and enjoy time with my family... because last year taught me so much about me about preciousness of time with family. I am not fully ready to manage the 20 questions of when I will find "that special someone" at family gathers... ughhhh but this year I won't boycott Holiday dinners :-) I think I will prepare my own 20 questions, like... if you are so concerned about me being single, why haven't you introduced me to some potential partners?

This week of thanksgiving... I am rejoicing and grateful for the blessings in my life (even those circumstances or situations that have been painful or are painful right now).

I am grateful for...

• My first heartbreak and heartache, because the recovery of that time taught me the most valuable lesson... this too shall pass, I will be just fine, and I came out on the other side wiser and stronger. Each time after that, I still went thru the process... but I always knew that in time I would be just fine.
  
• My days of real poverty as a young mother, because I got on my feet and even in these financially trying times I am facing these days... I know I will recover and things will get better it will just take discipline, time, faith, and hope.
• The haters and doubters, because I learned to not defined myself by what others thought of me. That was a hard lesson because as a teenage mother everyone had so many negative thoughts about me, my future and the future of my family. Those times planted the seeds of some negative self talk that I still have to silence with the truth to this day. As my sons grow up and make their own mistakes, in the still of the night I still hear those voices of not being (fill in the blank) "enough" and I push thru the anxiety of not doing this or that "right". Today I am defined by my purpose, my growth, my strength, and my courage to keep striving to be better and better... that is what defines WonderWoman.
  
• The relationships that didn't work out, because each time I learn more about myself and what I need and desire in my perfect partner. Today, I am hopeful that as I continue to get ready for my life partner... he is somewhere preparing himself for me also. I am encouraged to keep my eyes and heart open for my "Barack" to complement my inner "Michelle" ;-). Thank you Daddy for always being able to make me feel better, just with your hug and edification. I am so loved, and knowing that gets me thru!

I will get thru the Holiday season... hopeful for what the future will bring into my life, and enjoying the present.

So Blessed and Encouraged,
WonderWoman