(Wrote this post March 17, 2011)
I guess when you can experience good and bad moments in the same 24 hour time period... one has to decide to chose the half full or half empty perspective.
I have spent the last three days facilitating focus groups with teens and young adults and hearing their perspective on the issue of teen pregnancy. The last group was with a group of teen moms, and that discussion left me in a state of reflection. Spending time with this group of moms brought me back to my early days of parenting... and all the doubts, fears and shame I carried around with me during that time period. I actually carried the baggage of shame around well into my 20s. I have lighten the load of bags, but I still feel the weight of hoping my sons "turn out" better than the statistics that have been placed on them because I starting parenting young. Hell, some days I wonder... especially when they are stumbling and falling through adolescents. Do you ever completely go of the bags? I don't know, but mines definitely have gotten lighter.
Now years later, as my friends start to become mothers and I hear them talking about their doubt and fears... I finally can release some of the shame I felt then. Hell my friends are in their 30s and so much of my doubts and fears I thought were unique to me because I "messed up" and got pregnant "too young". I know that I did the best I could with what I knew and I continue to parent from that place... I feel relieved in many ways to see that my 30 something year old new mom friends are doing the same... the best they can with what they know. Parenting in your 30s after living your life and becoming emotionally and financially ready to start a family, definitely is the recommendation... and I can make peace with how my family started. Was it "ideal" and would I recommend it for someone else? Ummmmm no, but it is my journey and what a ride it has been... I have learned a lot about life, myself, and sanity.
The lens through which I see the world and my role as a mom has changed over time... in fact have gotten less blurry. I hope that as young parents navigate the journey they remember that they are growing and learning too... and cut themselves some slack. No one is perfect, super woman is not real, and lead with love and establish a healthy support network. Our children get older, and so do we ;-)
The lens through which I see the world and my role as a mom has changed over time... in fact have gotten less blurry. I hope that as young parents navigate the journey they remember that they are growing and learning too... and cut themselves some slack. No one is perfect, super woman is not real, and lead with love and establish a healthy support network. Our children get older, and so do we ;-)
